The death of my brother was like a chasm suddenly yawning at my feet. It threatened to swallow me whole, a vast void of despair, confusion, and relentless pain. Yet, amid the darkness, something profound happened. A light, a glimmer of hope, emerged, guiding me to the wisdom of great mystics. From their teachings, I began to understand death, the afterlife, and the transformative power of grief.
Thomas Merton:
Born in France in 1915, Merton was a Trappist monk of the Cistercian Abbey of Gethsemani in Kentucky. He experienced significant loss early in life: his mother died when he was six, and his father when he was sixteen. These tragedies, coupled with his intense spiritual exploration, rendered him deeply introspective.
Merton once said, "The more you try to avoid suffering, the more you suffer because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you." This sentiment resonated with me, for in avoiding my pain, it only intensified. His suggestion that we should embrace suffering, not as a punishment, but as a stepping stone to understanding, was enlightening.
He also lost a brother, in 1943 during the Second World War. His beautiful poem to his beloved brother brings me back to deep, dearly days of my grief.
Sweet brother, if I do not sleep
My eyes are flowers for your tomb;
And if I cannot eat my bread,
My fasts shall live like willows where you died.
If in the heat I find no water for my thirst,
My thirst shall turn to springs for you, poor traveller.
Teresa of Avila:
A prominent Spanish mystic, writer, and reformer, Saint Teresa of Avila experienced a series of illnesses and bereavements. She endured the deaths of her mother and several close friends. Yet, she emerged from these losses with an even stronger devotion to her spiritual journey.
Teresa shared, "Let nothing disturb thee; let nothing dismay thee: All things pass; God never changes." Her unwavering faith and understanding that everything, even grief, is transient, reassured me. With her words, I began to see my grief not as a permanent scar, but as a wound that, over time and with spiritual nurture, would heal.
The Buddha:
Born as Siddhartha Gautama in India, the Buddha witnessed the impermanence of life early on. Encountering an old man, a sick man, a corpse, and a monk, he was awakened to life's suffering and its impermanent nature.
He taught that attachment leads to suffering and once remarked, "All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them." The Buddha’s teachings showed me that grief is an inherent part of the human experience, an inevitable result of our attachments. By recognizing this, I could approach my grief not as an enemy, but as a natural part of life.
Rumi:
Sufism, the mystical Islamic belief system, embraces the concept of love, loss, and ecstatic union with the Divine. Rumi, a 13th-century Persian poet, jurist, and theologian, experienced profound grief with the death of his beloved friend Shams Tabrizi. His grief was transformed into some of the most beautiful poetry known to man.
Rumi wrote, "Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form." His perspective on grief—seeing it as a portal to a deeper connection with the universe—became a solace to me. Grief was no longer just an emotion but a transformative process, a path to deeper understanding and spiritual awakening.
Ram Dass:
Born Richard Alpert in Boston, he transformed into Ram Dass after his journey to India and his time with his guru, Neem Karoli Baba. He faced grief head-on when he suffered a debilitating stroke and when he lost many friends and loved ones.
Ram Dass suggested, "We are all just walking each other home." This simple yet profound sentiment became a beacon for me. My brother's passing was just another step in his journey, and in dealing with my grief, I was taking steps on my own path.
Death and the subsequent grief is an inevitable part of our human experience. The mystics, through their personal journeys and wisdom, have provided us with insights into understanding, managing, and growing from this profound emotion. By turning to their teachings, I found solace, understanding, and a deeper connection to the universe.
My spiritual awakening led me to the path of these mystics. Each one's perspective on death, the afterlife, and grief have been instrumental in shaping my journey through loss and into understanding. It is my hope that their wisdom will offer comfort and guidance to others navigating the profound journey of grief and loss.